Dear, Ray. [2/-]

Today I smelled your scent in the laundry, and once again it reminded me of you, and your hugs. I miss your long hugs. You always hug me really tight you almost squeezed me. You would keep holding me until I have to let go first. It's as if you would never let me go. Your hugs, they always feel safe and strong. But in the end it's you that let go. You left me.
Our last hug was probably our longest hug. In that moment you successfully made me believe that we can hold on til forever. When you know the time is up for us to keep each other. When you know it's about time for you to leave me soon.

Dear, Ray. [1/-]

Yo, hi Ray! How are you? I hope things go well with your coass life. I wish I can hear about the story of your patients or your group mates again haha. Tbh they're always interesting to hear, even though you cant bring it interestingly lol. I dont think I need to tell how am I doing right, you probably dont care anyway. You never did. Or did you?
It's been almost 2 months since our break up. No matter how I tell people that I dont care at all anymore, seems like deep down I still care. A lot. I can't lie to myself that you're still on my mind. It's bad that I can see you almost everywhere. From superhero movies we used to love, to that stupid soya ginger drink we once had. I think that's how human's brain works when you miss someone. Well then, I miss you. Do you miss me too? Or at least do I ever just crossed your mind? You said that you loved me and actually it was heavy for you to leave me. But did you actually mean it? Can you sleep peacefully at night this time then?
I know I shouldn't be missing you. It was a very stupid reason you gave. So much negativity to even think of the reason. Like, really?? Well, until this second I don't know what's going on in your head.
What's the real reason behind this. But I think it's better for me not to know. I'm not ready to be more hurt. To such reason like; you gave up on me. But whatever. You were definitely out of your mind,
and i'm out of my mind for keep missing you. Damn I hate you. I hate your ability to make me feel this way, without even a single glance back. But I hate myself even more, for keep forgiving you.
However, there is one thing you need to know. Now I'm glad that we broke up. I don't need such attitude and negativity brought to my future. God saved me and has better plans for me. I'm still young, or a "little girl" if you call it, my journey is still long, I have nothing to worry about.

Who were once yours,
Moon.

R E - I N T R O

Hello, it's me again.

It's been so long since my last post. Life's been very busy but it's amazing! I never able to find the time (or motivation) to write. I think the last post I wrote was when I was in high school. And when I reread some posts I find them really embarassing I had to revert them to draft lol. I also don't think I can continue the pottermore walkthrough that I started. Well, I believe now there are a lot of them in the internet anyway. So not a big problem huh?

Now the question is why do I come back? Because there are so many things happened in these past few years. So many stories, so many memories that my brain just can't contain anymore. Even some are already forgotten. And I don't want that to happen. I really don't. I wish I can remember all of them precious memories. How did I do this, how did I do that, my experiences, my accomplishments. Not to brag, show off or anything. Besides, it's simply nice just to look back and remember what was going on in my mind at that time, even the stupidest one. Yeah like some of those embarassing posts that I reverted to draft, not deleted.

I want to be honest in here. Everything is the truthhh ohyeahh. Because I want this to be (hopefully) a journal thingy that I can remember. Therefore I wont be using my real name again in my writing. And also all of the other names will be made up too. I want to be able to share my stories freely with the world without the people that I know in my real life judging after they read this. So from now on I will go with the name Clover, or sometimes Moon instead (I've updated my blogger profile!). Yes, there are reasons behind those names. But if you did a good research you probably still can track me down though (nooo pls dont).

Okay so today is 30 July 2016, 00.25 AM.
I am Clover. I am 19.
Many things have happened since my last writing.
I have finished high school. With the best national exam score at school. Got accepted in, probably, the best medical faculty, in one of the best university in the country. My dream campus. Yes, after all of the hard works, prayers, sweats and bloods. Now I just finished my second year of med school. Currently in the start of a 1 month holiday before entering my third year.
I have some friends at school. Not many, but they're really sweet and nice companions. I also still in contact with my high school friends. I love them very much, I'm very grateful to have them, and they are the bestest (lol what even is that word) of best friends I could possibly ask for.
Between these years, I also experiences my first love. I had my first boyfriend. I had my first ex.

I am Clover. I am 19.
Here are the memories between those years.