Do you believe in love at the first sight?
Or do you believe in love over time aka gradual love?
What if I told you that both are real and I experienced both?
Well here's my version of Love at First Sight vs Gradual Love.
Love at First Sight
This is the story of my first relationship ever. Now we have broken up due to some things. My story began at the time I started college. He was my senior, 2 years older than me. I first met him in an tutoring event held by a student organization. He became one of the tutor to teach us the first year students. He was very attractive it was hard not to notice him. And it was not just in my eyes, but every other new girls. Yeah I could know that because at the end of the event most of the first year girls were talking about him. I didn't join in the gossiping crowd though. I just kept what I thought to myself. But deep down I honestly felt that there was something about him. I felt like he showed more attention to me when he tutored in the event (the eye contact, direction of talking, gestures and body leaning). He kept trying to sit close to me. But once again, I didn't want to be over confident, so I just kept it to myself until we kept getting closer and one day we finally got together (and now broke up lol). Maybe it's not really a "love at the first sight" as it was just a mere attraction (you cannot count that as "love" yet, right? hahaha).
Love Over Time (Gradual Love)
Now, this story is a new story as it was just happened recently. Actually it's still messing with my feeling as I'm writing this right now (and I'm writing to let this crappy feelings out). I haven't tell anyone about this yet so sshhh.. Here's the story. He is my classmate in college. Now I'm on the start of my fourth year in college, therefore now I have already known him for four years. Before, I've never had any feelings toward him, not even just a little. All I know was that he's the nice helpful guy in the class that is nice with everyone. Until finally at the end of our third year we were put in the same group for an exchange program abroad together with some other students. From there I started to get to know him. He was a funny and caring person. I had a good time spending time with him and we always had something to talk/laugh to. He's the kind that always respectful and never treat people badly. Always saying please, sorry, and thank you lol. He also took care and being nice to everyone in our group. So actually there's no reason for me to feel special or anything. But I swear this genuine kindness really got me. It's really unexpected and actually I'm still in denial right now. This is the first time ever in my life I fall for someone not because of his looks, but his kindness. Maybe you're judging me real hard right now but admit it; if you like someone, usually it's his/her look that first catches your attention, then you start trying to get to know his/her personality afterwards (e.g like in my first story). But not in this case. I honestly don't even know how but, now I understand why people say attractive personality can make a person look physically more attractive too. Well, seems like now it's time for me to get ready to be heartbroken (why? There's also an interesting story about this, haha).
All sorts of love
Dear, Ray. [2/-]
Today I smelled your scent in the laundry, and once again it reminded me of you, and your hugs. I miss your long hugs. You always hug me really tight you almost squeezed me. You would keep holding me until I have to let go first. It's as if you would never let me go. Your hugs, they always feel safe and strong. But in the end it's you that let go. You left me.
Our last hug was probably our longest hug. In that moment you successfully made me believe that we can hold on til forever. When you know the time is up for us to keep each other. When you know it's about time for you to leave me soon.
Dear, Ray. [1/-]
Yo, hi Ray! How are you? I hope things go well with your coass life. I wish I can hear about the story of your patients or your group mates again haha. Tbh they're always interesting to hear, even though you cant bring it interestingly lol. I dont think I need to tell how am I doing right, you probably dont care anyway. You never did. Or did you?
It's been almost 2 months since our break up. No matter how I tell people that I dont care at all anymore, seems like deep down I still care. A lot. I can't lie to myself that you're still on my mind. It's bad that I can see you almost everywhere. From superhero movies we used to love, to that stupid soya ginger drink we once had. I think that's how human's brain works when you miss someone. Well then, I miss you. Do you miss me too? Or at least do I ever just crossed your mind? You said that you loved me and actually it was heavy for you to leave me. But did you actually mean it? Can you sleep peacefully at night this time then?
I know I shouldn't be missing you. It was a very stupid reason you gave. So much negativity to even think of the reason. Like, really?? Well, until this second I don't know what's going on in your head.
What's the real reason behind this. But I think it's better for me not to know. I'm not ready to be more hurt. To such reason like; you gave up on me. But whatever. You were definitely out of your mind,
and i'm out of my mind for keep missing you. Damn I hate you. I hate your ability to make me feel this way,
without even a single glance back. But I hate myself even more, for keep
forgiving you.
However, there is one thing you need to know. Now I'm glad that we broke up. I don't need such attitude and negativity brought to my future. God saved me and has better plans for me. I'm still young, or a "little girl" if you call it, my journey is still long, I have nothing to worry about.
Who were once yours,
Moon.
R E - I N T R O
Hello, it's me again.
It's been so long since my last post. Life's been very busy but it's amazing! I never able to find the time (or motivation) to write. I think the last post I wrote was when I was in high school. And when I reread some posts I find them really embarassing I had to revert them to draft lol. I also don't think I can continue the pottermore walkthrough that I started. Well, I believe now there are a lot of them in the internet anyway. So not a big problem huh?
Now the question is why do I come back? Because there are so many things happened in these past few years. So many stories, so many memories that my brain just can't contain anymore. Even some are already forgotten. And I don't want that to happen. I really don't. I wish I can remember all of them precious memories. How did I do this, how did I do that, my experiences, my accomplishments. Not to brag, show off or anything. Besides, it's simply nice just to look back and remember what was going on in my mind at that time, even the stupidest one. Yeah like some of those embarassing posts that I reverted to draft, not deleted.
I want to be honest in here. Everything is the truthhh ohyeahh. Because I want this to be (hopefully) a journal thingy that I can remember. Therefore I wont be using my real name again in my writing. And also all of the other names will be made up too. I want to be able to share my stories freely with the world without the people that I know in my real life judging after they read this. So from now on I will go with the name Clover, or sometimes Moon instead (I've updated my blogger profile!). Yes, there are reasons behind those names. But if you did a good research you probably still can track me down though (nooo pls dont).
Okay so today is 30 July 2016, 00.25 AM.
I am Clover. I am 19.
Many things have happened since my last writing.
I have finished high school. With the best national exam score at school. Got accepted in, probably, the best medical faculty, in one of the best university in the country. My dream campus. Yes, after all of the hard works, prayers, sweats and bloods. Now I just finished my second year of med school. Currently in the start of a 1 month holiday before entering my third year.
I have some friends at school. Not many, but they're really sweet and nice companions. I also still in contact with my high school friends. I love them very much, I'm very grateful to have them, and they are the bestest (lol what even is that word) of best friends I could possibly ask for.
Between these years, I also experiences my first love. I had my first boyfriend. I had my first ex.
I am Clover. I am 19.
Here are the memories between those years.
Liam says Hello to me on his twitcam!
OMG IM THE HAPPIEST GIRL ON EARTH RIGHT NOW!
LIAM JAMES PAYNE NOTICES ME ON TWITCAM! HE SAYS HELLO TO ME! OH GODDDDD!!
APRIL 18TH 2012 AROUND 8:14 PM WIB BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE.
But I still can't believe this. Hmm... This was what I tweeted. Nothing's special there. Not a good tweet or something. Just a stupid tweet asking for a Hi. I wonder how he could notice that... :/
BUT IDC, 2/5 OF ONE DIRECTION HAVE KNOWN IM EXISTED (yeah he was with Niall too). LMFAOOO
OH YEAH AND THIS!
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!
But I'm not sure...
Because then he spoke about their tour. They sure will come to every country, just waiting for the time and stuff like that. But I wasn't listened completely because I was on twitter too. So I'm still not sure about it. :|
IF that's right... fhgchxz i can't even think i just omg aaaaa no words. I'm just very very veryyyyy happyyyyyyy. :')
Ahahahahah okay that's all I'm in a really good mood now im getting cringey and annoying. Maybe I will looking for the video of that tour thing later.
Bye love you all mwah xxxxx
UPDATE: PLS DONT MIND THE USERNAME IT WAS BACK IN THE CARROT DAYS OK DONT JUDGE ME I KNOW I WAS ONLY 15 WE ALL HAD IT WORSE BYE
That Friend
So there's this friend at school that really annoys me lately. First, before I begin my rant you need to know this: She's rather smart, she got the 5th rank on the first semester. And then she's from a different junior high school with me (now we're on grade 10 / on senior high school).
Well in her junior high school has already taught about accountancy whilst I haven't. Then in senior high school we have accountancy. She said the lesson is the same with what she got in her junior high school. Then she starts to say things like "Ah this is so easyyyy, I have this beforeee, why don't we start a new chapter insteaaadddd?" or "Why don't we just skip this part? It's not important! Better we go straight to the 'journal' part!" or being a bitch to the teacher like "Miss! Why we must count the balance too? I can finish this question without even calculating the balance!" then starts a fuckin speech about the subject in her junior high school.
Siriusly. I know you're smart but duhhh.... Please stop. Not all of us student here have been taught about this subject in our junior high school. And I can say MOST OF THE SUDENT HERE. Bitch please, we're 33 out of 37 who didn't get that subject before. Stop being so arrogant, if you don't like this go back to your lovely junior high school, girl. Your 3 other friends not even complaining so why should you?
